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            Yes....I am a Spaz.  Haven't heard that word in awhile?  That's because I own the rights to it!  Ever have these days where you are a complete idiot...no matter what you try to do? 

            Today, I was up at the crack of dawn...before actually (because I can't even do that right today  lol!).  I went to my computer and posted my cooking blog, which was probably only okay because I prepared it last night, not today.  After that, it was all downhill.  I tried and tried to add photos to Her-Ballistic Blog and they just wouldn't load!  Then, I thought, achhh...what the heck?  I'll just go finish that damnable tray that's hogging space on my home page.  THE TRAY FROM HELL!

            That tray has been the bane of my existence for three weeks!!  I know, you all might be thinking...sheesh it takes her long enough to finish a bloody tray, doesn't it?  Well, it's been horrid from the start...every single step of that tray has been a challenge.  It's been painted FIVE TIMES....oh yah, you heard that one right!  I painted it twice, then Dan said...I'll put another coat on that for you, and I said okay...so he did, but, apparently, he painted it in close proximity to off-spray from battery acid when he hooked up an old battery to a charger and it must have spit a wee bit on one corner.  So, when he painted it...it bubbled.  NICE!  Then, he sanded it, after showing me and saying "Don't worry hon, I'll fix it all up for you!" and it happened again!  One more time, he sanded and repainted it for me, so I'd be happy.  And I was.  The frame is beautiful.

            In his haste to "please" me after that fiasco, he offered to paint the sturdy painters' canvas, but the wrong side got painted...so wrong, in fact that the embossed lettering on the wrong side was showing up, even if I had used the wrong side!!!  Finally, though, he finished and presented it to me in a flourish!           

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            Getting back to the story near and dear to my heart ....TODAY.... I decided to stencil this beautiful motif onto the good piece.  Oh yes...I practiced and practiced on a crappy piece I'd painted, just so it would be perfect and when I attempted it on my painted canvas...it bled.  So, what did I do?  I took one of my wee paintbrushes and paintstakingly tried to even up the edges.  But... they were bluish, so I thought, okay....let's just paint another canvas.  Tonight, one of my friends was over and said it probably bled because it was on a bumpy surface (the canvas), so tomorrow, I'm going to see about getting something with a smoother surface and start all over again.  My other friend said "It actually looks good to me and you could probably post it...."  But we all know that we're our own worst critics and I don't want looks good, I want perfect!  Although I was tempted!  Click on the motif and you'll see how the lines bled and even where I painted it to try and even it up.   So, by the time I'm done this project, you will know everything NOT to do in order to make the same thing!  The upside of my day.

            I knew this day was really bad when I spent an hour trying to get my printer to work and ended up in tears, sitting in my dining room, wondering what I could touch that wouldn't break, so I layed down for a wee nap, hoping it would change my day right around when I woke up.  WRONG! 

            I read in one of my Nanny's Cookbooks about baking fresh french fries in the oven with egg white on them to brown & crisp them up, so thought "hmmm...I can do this".  Apparently I couldn't.  I cracked open the egg and was whipping it up with a fork and Dan (who's afraid of me at this point...hahahaha) very sweetly says "Ummm...What are you doing?" and I look down and realize I'm whipping up the whole egg...with the yolk too.  I break open another egg and it breaks vertically, instead of horizontally......and that's when Dan made dinner.

            Today, I've spazzed out.  Everything I touched had a spaz.  I am a SPAZ.




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